Dear Mother, can you hear me whining?
It's been three whole weeks since we brought the baby home.
A sudden fear has left me trembling
Cos now it seems the diapers fill up on their own
  And we're feeling so alone...

	Pay attention to the crap streaks and the ringing phone.
	Some call it the pits, some call it good.
	I wanna take you to a wasteland I used to call my home.
	Welcome to Parenthood.

A butt shot rings out from the cradle.
My wife is at the store; I'm left here on my own.
It makes me wonder where's the diapers.
For some strange odor is now filling up my home
  And it's never gonna go...

	Pay attention to the crap streaks and the ringing phone.
	Some call it the pits, some call it good.
	I wanna take you to a wasteland I used to call my home.
	Welcome to Parenthood.

Dear mother, can you hear me laughing?
It's been six whole months since we brought the baby home.
He took his first steps today, trembling
For some strange reason he now seems to run the home	
  And I think he's gonna go...

	Pay attention to the crap streaks and the ringing phone.
	Some call it the pits, some call it good.
	I wanna take you to a wasteland I used to call my home.
	Welcome to Parenthood.
	  Whoa, Parenthood.

Music by Green Day (Billy Joe Armstrong)
Words by Bret Walker