The elder statesman of the group, Bret Walker is the voice behind the music, and the fattest punk rock frontman since Billy Milano. Schooled in multiple instruments since age five (Wurlitzer Organ, Piano, Saxophone, Trumpet, Oboe, French Horn, and Orchestral Percussion), Bret began his rock career as the drummer for the prog-rock band Menagerie. After a brief taste of college life and a couple years in the Army (including service in Desert Storm), Bret settled down with his family of four in North-West New Jersey.His repast was brief, however, as his marriage was soon dashed against the rocks of good taste and sensibility. Separated, alone, Bret picked up his only friend, a Peavey Patriot guitar he'd aptly named "The Punisher," and in 1995 wrote the first of many songs to be later added to the Max the Dork repertoir.
While Max the Dork continued as a solo project from 1995 to 2002, Bret also played drums for a goth-metal band called Fuck Souls, or The Mined Weavers, depending on who you ask. In August, 2002, he left the Fuck Weavers, er Mined Souls, or whatever, and concentrated his efforts on furthering the exploits of Max the Dork.
Bret lives in Pitman with his second (and much preferred) wife of eight years, and his two children. Bret also currently works as Network Administrator at the Delaware County Community College in Media, PA.